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Last updated October 24, 2002
'Til Death Us
Do Part | Vanishing Act | Terminal
Island | A Model for Murder | Along Came
Scales of Justice | Flowers of Evil | Holliday on Ice | Manpower | Unhappily Ever After | The Dead Don't Lie
Past Due | Rest in Peace | Guilty | The Romanoff Affair | The South Seas Connection
Kingmare on Night Street | Battle of the Titans | Allergic to Golf
'Til Death Us Do Part
After finding dead body...
Tom Haber: Holli, you are relentless. The cops in LA must hate you.
Holli: Just the incompetent ones.
Wanting her to sign-off on dead body found in the ocean as an accidental
Holli: I don't believe this flagrant attempt to abrogate my responsibility.
Mack: Abrogate. Me? Doc, I can hardly pronounce it. Now, c'mon, be reasonable.
Holli: Lieutenant, I've come across decomposed bodies that are less offensive than you are..
After learning Tom Haber's body is not on Navy ship...
Mack: These people are always one step ahead of me.
Holli: Yeah, well, they could be standing still and pass you.
After Holli finds Mack playing piano at a wealthy club to pay his
Mack: ...and all my problems will be over.
Mack: Speaking of my problems, I thought you were going home.
After the case has been solved... (Mack and Herzog)
Herzog: Mack, I think maybe I owe you a little back pay and I think maybe a new car.
Mack: Well, teal blue if you're shopping.
Herzog: Teal blue. I mean, a police--
Mack waves a finger in the air.
Herzog: Teal blue. Yes.
Mack: Matches my eyes.
After the case has been solved... (Mack and Holli, in reference to
Holli's "cure" for Mack being drugged)
Mack: Nice work, Doc. But I think you should stick to working on the non-living. I'm not feeling so good.
Holli: Ooh. I better take you to the morgue and pump your stomach.
Mack looks at her, then they laugh.
Mack: Oh, Doc, that's a good one...
Mack's answering machine message:
Mack: You have reached the headquarters of Wolfe Enterprises. Mr. Wolfe is currently out of the office seeking an infusion of investment captial. If you are interested in investing in one of our many fine products, please leave a phone number and we'll get back to you as soon as possible. If you're calling about an unpaid bill, well, we'd like to assure you that our accountants have finally solved the computer glitch and the checks are in the mail.
In response to Herzog meditating in his office to reduce stress...
Mack: My boss, the Buddhist monk.
Herzog: It's amazing how much better that is. You should try this.
Mack: I much prefer being screwed up, Dave. Thanks a lot.
A Model for Murder
Along Came a Spider
When talking to Drew Dinehart at night by her house...
Mack: (as Drew runs out of the house) Mrs. Dineheart...
Drew: (outside, taking off her shoes) I told you, call me Drew. I mean, we're friends now, right?
Mack: I need some answers
Drew: (taking off her dress, leaving just her slip) I'm gonna tell you who killed my husband. (runs off toward pool)
Mack: I need some willpower.
After Mack has followed Sarah Gaines to a high coastal lookout point
over the ocean...
Mack's back is pressed against railing and Sarah pats Mack's chest down, finds wire and bug under his shirt, tears it off and tosses it over the railing into the ocean.
Sarah: Oh, Mack, you didn't think I was going to break and confess all, did you?
Mack: (looking over the edge behind him) Actually, I though you might want to dictate your memoirs.
Sarah: (feeling up his chest) I can think of better things to do. (leans forward and kisses his chest)
Mack: (slipping away from her) I think I hear my mother calling.
After Mack seduces Sarah Gaines at the beach in only his swim trunks...
Herzog, Holli, and several cops come out to arrest Sarah after she unknowingly admits to the crime while Mack was wearing a hidden wire.
Herzog: Good work, Mack. We got everything on the wire.
Mack: Yeah? Well, what took you so long?
Holli: Oh, well, we thought you were enjoying...
Herzog: See you back at headquarters, lover-boy. (walks away)
Mack: Oh, yeah, you bet, right on.
Holli: No, really, Mack, that was so ... interesting, watching you, um ... work.
Mack: What are you ... trying to say, Doc?
Holli: It was fascinating. What would you call that ... seduction technique, I guess.
Mack: (chuckles) Hey, my seduction technique got the job done.
Holli: Uh-huh. On a lonely, love-starved spinster.
Mack: (laughs again) Takes one to know one, Doc. Takes one to know one. (walks away)
Holli: That's funny, Mack. That's really funny.
Scales of Justice
Flowers of Evil
Holliday on Ice
Manpower (aka Jolly Roger)
As she watches Mack make his "special" barbeque sauce...
Holli: Mack, that is the third time I've seen you put vodka in the barbeque sauce. You trying to get me drunk in broad daylight?
Mack: Oh, would that I could expose you to the joys of womanhood, Doc, real womanhood.
Holli: Well, if you're talking about cooking, it just so happens--
Mack: No, I'm not talking about cooking, Doc. I'm talking about loosening you up a bit. Heh-heh-heh. See, all those life and death matters day in and day out are all bottled up inside of you. And one of these days they are just going to...blow.
Holli: And you'd like to see me uncork it right here over a few swigs of Makaha Mack's all-purpose barbeque sauce and Liquid Plummer.
After giving the dog a taste of barbeque sauce in exchange for the
Mack: You see, animals perceive the inner essense within me -- a quality that women have been missing for some time now.
To the skull he and Holli found on the beach...
Mack: So I finally meet the poster boy for the pirate flag. I think I'm gonna call you Jolly Roger.
On recognizing Mack on stage with Manpower...
Nui: It's Mack!
Holli: Is he out of his mind?
Nui: I don't know, but he is definitely out of his pants!
Backstage after the show to Mack...
Holli: Well, what can I say -- you're a regular Fred Astaire.
Unhappily Ever After
The Dead Don't Lie
In reference to deadbeat husband of woman who died...
Mack: Should have been neutered.
Rest in Peace
The Romanoff Affair (aka The Treasures of Pago Pago)
When Mack says he's coming with her to Samoa...
Holli: I wonder if I could still get off the plane.
As they stop for Holli to buy a hat at the Samoa airport...
Holli: How 'bout a hat?
Mack: No, no thanks. I'm trying to quit.
When Victoria meets them and Mack keeps making comments...
Victoria: It's also very rare to meet someone who completely lives up to their name, Lt. Wolfe.
Mack: You should see me on a full moon. (does a little growly noise)
After realizing Mack is there to keep an eye on her...
Holli: You're here to look over my shoulder.
Mack: And a lovely shoulder it is.
Upon seeing the Samoan police officers band in their lava lavas (skirts)...
Holli: Hey, Mack, come here and look at this. You'd look good in one of those skirts.
Mack: All the men wear them, Doc. They're called lava lavas. And you're right -- they'd show off my legs.
When looking at Holli's mail...
Mack: Who's the fan mail from?
Holli: From the governor no less. We're invited to a party in his honor.
Mack: We? I don't see my name on there.
Holli: Oh, yeah, you're right here -- Dr. Holliday and guest.
Mack: Ah...it's those personal touches I just love.
The South Seas Connection (aka Death Watch)
As he looks at himself in the mirror before joining Victoria in bed...
Mack: Shame on you.
To hostess at racetrack after she gives him a drink...
Mack: What kind of drink is there?
Hostess: A Zombie.
Mack: Ah, how fitting -- the walking dead.
As they walk into refrigerated storage building...
Holli: Mack, this is the brewery's cold room. It's perfect.
Mack: Perfect for what, Doc? A hockey game?
Holli: C'mon, Mack, I brought you here to preserve you.
Mack: Preserve me? You mean lower my sperm count.
To a big biker dude coming on to her...
Holli: What's a matter, good looking? Somebody steal your sheep?
As officers bust in on Holli and Mack in cold room...
Mack: Well, no problem there.
To bad guy who tells him he's been "chosen"...
Mack: Chosen as a candidate. I didn't even have to put my swimsuit on.
As officers bust in on Mack and bad guy just before bad guy shoots
Mack: Been there, done that.
Kingmare on Night Street
Trying to get Mack to let him go after his house is raided...
Mr. Bob: Suppose I give you something big, more important than me.
Mack: Like Mr. Big, Mr. Bob?
On lending Mack money for a "boat race" bet...
Holli: I'll tell you what -- I'll give you the five hundred dollars, but you have to let me place a bet of my own.
Mack: Go into the betting parlor with me.
Mack: Forget it.
Holli: Why not?
Mack: Because it would be like corrupting the Easter Bunny or Santa Claus, Doc.
Holli: There is no Santa Claus, Mack. And I don't like being referred to as any kind of bunny.
About Culhane as Mack is examing her hand after Culhane kissed it...
Holli: What a charming man.
Mack: You got a snake bite kit, Doc?
On finding the very dead Mr. Bob...
Mack: Don't look!
Holli: What do you mean 'don't look'? I'm the Medical Examiner, remember?
After Mack pulls a gun on Culhane in his boat after Holli's left...
Culhane: What's this? What are you doing with that gun? You're a cop.
Mack: Yeah, but I love her. (screams and fires several times at Culhane)
In the hospital after Mack has been shot and is not expected to live...
Mack: I never told you this, but I always had this secret thing for you. (pause) I have a favor to ask.
Mack: I hope you mean that, because it would mean everything to me.
Holli: What is it?
Mack gestures her towards him and he whispers something in her ear. She pulls back with a shocked look on her face.
Holli: Mack! I can't believe you. You never change, you know.
Mack: Doc, it would mean the world to me. Everything.
Holli: Mack, this is a hospital. There are people around here.
Mack: Soon I'll be all by myself...forever.
Holli covers her face.
Mack: So how 'bout it, Doc? Do I leave this earth a happy man with a smile on my face for all eternity or what?
Switch to outside room where Herzog and Nui pace. They hear Mack moaning inside the room. Alarms go off a few moments later and the two of them, plus a priest and a nurse rush inside and all gasp in shock at what they see (which is off-screen).
While testifying about the DNA of twins...
Holli: You all understand the connection between the small toe bone and the foot bone and the foot bone is connected to the ankle bone and the ankle bone connected to the shin bone. (Starts to sing) The shin bone connects to the--
Juror #1: Knee bone.
Holli: Right. The knee bone connects to the--
Juror #2: Leg bone.
Juror #3: The leg bone connects to the thigh bone
Judge: (hits gavel on desk) Now hear the word of the Lord. These bones, these bones gonna walk around.
Holli: These bones, these bones gonna walk around.
Jury: These bones, these bones gonna walk around. We hear the word of the Lord.
Judge: Now how does the jury find?
Foreman: We find the defendant guilty as charged.
Everyone leaps up and cheers. Holli runs down and hugs Mack. Then they pull apart to look at each and kiss.
Holli wakes up in her bed in a panic, then slowly relaxes.
Holli: Oh, it was a nightmare. It was a nightmare.
Battle of the Titans
Allergic to Golf
After Mack sneezes loudly on the golf course...
Holli: Mack, are you allergic to grass?
Mack: To golf, Doc. I mean, what is it with these people? I'd rather watch snails mate. Nothing happens here.
Upon leaving ME's office after discussing bees and allergic reactions...
Mack: I just think you'd better stay off golf courses, Doc.
Holli: Not a chance. Why?
Mack: Well, if those bees get a look at your, uh, backswing, they might get excited and swarm, Doc.
Looking at a slide of the toxin...
Mack: Looks like a shirt I bought on Maui.
After Mack hits a hole-in-one with no effort and returns club...
Mack: Has to be the silliest pasttime. Where's the fun? There's no challenge in it.
Holli: That had to be the worst swing I have ever seen.