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The Girl Next Door
Written by: Harold Apter
Directed by: William Gereghty
Transcribed by: Becky
~~~~~~~~~~ Disclaimer ~~~~~~~~~~
I do not own the characters in this story, nor do I own any rights to the television show The Sentinel. They were created by Danny Bilson and Paul DeMeo and belong to them, Pet Fly Productions, UPN, and Paramount. This is not a novelization or a script. It is simply a transcript of the episode. It also includes descriptions of the settings, action scenes and camera movements where needed. If you notice anything that is transcribed incorrectly, please let me know and I will post an update.
Lead cast: Richard Burgi (James Ellison), Garett Maggart (Blair Sandburg), Bruce A. Young (Simon Banks).
Guest cast (in order of credits): Meadow Sisto (Iris), Michael Lewis ( ), Courtenay J. Stevens ( ), Ken Earl (Joel Taggart), Jeremy Ratchford (Artie Parkman), Ronald Robinson (Patrol Officer).
Music notes: Featured song was "As Good as She" sung by Teal Thompson. Words and music by Teal Thompson. Found on The Sentinel soundtrack. Lyrics as transcribed by Mrs. Fish at the end of the transcript.
Summary: Blinded by his neighbor's beauty and charm, Sandburg doesn't see that she's involved in a drug-trafficking ring. (Source: Stefan's Sentinel Episode Guide)
This episode was originally broadcast on September 24, 1997.
Last updated: 7/8/01
~Opening theme plays as credits roll. Opening monologue by Blair Sandburg: "In the jungles of Peru the fight for survival heightened his senses. Now, Detective James Ellison is a sentinel in the fight for justice. Seeing before others see. Sensing what others can't. An ever-vigilant watchman in the war against crime."~
~~~~~~~~~~ Act I ~~~~~~~~~~
~Day. Blair driving up a street on an incline. Bay can be seen behind him. The Volvo is squeaking and backfiring as he goes. He has his cellphone tucked up on shoulder as he talks to Jim.~
Blair: Hey, Jim, look, I'm sorry I'm late. I was just having my car checked. My mechanic still can't figure out what's wrong with it.
Jim: (at the loft) The department already gave you replacement money, Chief. Just go get a different one.
Blair: Get a different one? What are you talking about? You just don't replace a classic, man.
Jim: It's your nickel. Anyway, I got to get rolling.
Blair: Look, just wait five minutes. I'll be right there. This is an important stakeout. You'll need me to back you up.
Jim: Chances are it won't go down tonight. Why don't you just catch up with us tomorrow, okay? (hangs up and leaves the loft)
Blair: Jim?! Jim...?!
~Cut to outside loft. Jim leaves the building and gets into the blue-and-white pickup. As he pulls away, a woman (Iris) gets out of her car in the lot and opens up the trunk of her car. She gets a box out of the trunk, closes the lid, and turns toward the building. A man (Chance) pulls up in front of her on a motorbike, blocking her way.~
Chance: What the hell are you doing?
Iris: I'm moving into my new place. I told you last week. God, Chance, you're so... thick.
Chance: I'm warning you, Iris. Don't mess with my head.
Iris: It's over. (tries to walk away)
Chance: (grabs her arm) I got this really big deal coming up. I need you.
Iris: Look, if you behave, we can still be friends.
Iris: Yeah. Come on, Chance. Everybody needs friends.
Chance: I got friends.
Iris: Then throw yourself a party. (walks by him)
Chance stands a minute, then turns and goes after her.
~Cut to Blair driving up to the loft. Volvo still bucking and spluttering.~
Blair: Just a little further. We're almost home, honey. Almost home.
As he pulls into the parking lot in front of the loft, a motorbike roars in front of him and heads off down the street. Blair screeches to a halt and watches it go.
Blair: Whoa! Hey, man, watch out. Man.
Blair parks the car (which is still knocking away), then gets out. As he walks by his car toward the loft, he hears a knocking. He leans in to see if it's his car -- which it isn't -- then follows the sound to the trunk of another car as he nears someone from inside.
Iris: Help! Can you help, please?
Blair: Yep. (leans in the car window to unlatch the trunk) Ho. (goes back to open trunk)
Iris is inside. He looks a moment as she giggles, then reaches down to help her get out.
Blair: Oh, my god. Let me help you, here.
Iris: Thank you. It was getting difficult to breathe in there.
Blair: Yeah, I can imagine. (laughs) It's none of my business but how in the world did you manage to...?
Iris: My ex gets really carried away sometimes.
Blair: Your ex?
Blair: (pulls out his phone and starts dialing) I'd say this is a little bit more than...
Iris: No. We were having an argument, you know. He gets carried away. Who are you calling?
Blair: I'm calling the police.
Iris: No. Please don't do that.
Blair: You got a problem with cops?
Iris: Yes, I really do. (takes the cellphone as the other end starts to ring) Thank you. My parents were protesters in the '60s. They got beat up a lot.
Blair: Well, yeah, I understand. My mom, she was a protester, too. She was really into the counterculture. She still is, as a matter of fact.
Iris: (gives him back his phone) Anyway, thank you for... helping me.
Blair: No problem. You're sure you don't want me to call?
Iris: Um, no. That's fine. Thanks. (picks up the box again)
Blair: Okay. Yeah, uh... (laughs) uh, is there anything else I can do for you?
Iris: Do you live around here?
Blair: Yeah. I do, actually. I live right up there.
Iris: Well, I'm moving in here, and they haven't turned on my water yet, so could I...could I take a shower at your place later? (laughs)
Blair: A shower? (laughs) Uh...yeah, that'd be fine. That'd be fine.
Iris: Cool. Here, hold this. (gives him the box)
~Cut to next morning. Loft. Loud guitar rock music playing. Jim is in the upstairs bedroom, with a black sleep mask and earplugs, trying to sleep. The music wakes him up and he sits up, peeling up the mask to rest on the top of his head (mussing his hair) and looks over the edge of the room to see Iris below playing on an electric guitar. He gets up and goes downstairs in his boxers, taking out the earplugs as he does. He walks into the room, coming in behind Iris.~
Jim: Hey. Hey!
When Iris (still playing) doesn't hear him, he walks over to the guitar amp and pulls the plug. Iris looks up.
Iris: Nice boxers. (laughs as Jim just looks at her) You must be Jim. I'm Iris, your new neighbor. Blair was just helping me move.
Jim: Right, right. I don't mean to be rude, but I'm trying to get some rest. I've been up all night on a...
Blair comes in.
Blair: On a big project. Right, Jim? Big project? See, Jim, he works for the city -- road maintenance. He's one of the chief supervisors. Right?
Jim: Right. Excuse me. (walks off)
Blair: Yeah. (to Iris) Ooh, hey, look at that. (goes over to join Iris on the couch) You know, that was actually a present from my mom on my 12th birthday. It once belonged to Jimi Hendrix.
Iris: That's a really nice line, Blair, but, uh...
Blair: He signed it. (shows her the back of the guitar)
Iris: He gave her this guitar?
Blair: That's right.
Iris: Your mom and Jimi Hendrix?
Blair: They were pretty close. (gets up and puts guitar in case)
Iris: Wow, I would love to do some more jammin' on that thing. I have an amp over at my place. Um, you wouldn't mind if I...of course you would.
Blair: Well, I tell you what. You let me cook dinner for you tonight and I'll let you borrow it.
Iris: All right. It's a date.
Blair: Yeah? Good. (gives her guitar)
Iris: Thank you.
Blair: Be gentle. You got it?
Iris: Mm-hmm. (leaves)
Jim comes down the stairs, now in a gray robe and thongs as Blair shuts the door. Jim still has the eye mask sitting on the top of his head.
Jim: Doing okay there, Chief?
Blair: Yeah, I think I'll live. (goes into kitchen, starts looking through cabinets) Hey, you're still on stakeout tonight, right?
Jim: (follows him into kitchen) Yeah. Why?
Jim: Perfect for another train wreck in the ongoing disaster that is your love life.
Blair: Yeah, yeah. This coming from a man who I've never known to date the same woman twice.
Jim: At least I'm consistent. Why didn't you want her to know that I was a cop?
Blair: She's got this thing against cops. It's no big deal.
Jim: Road maintenance? Road maintenance? Well, at least you made me a supervisor.
Blair: Yeah, you're welcome. Hey, uh, I used to have this can of grape leaves. Have you seen it? I got this recipe out of this Persian folklore book. There these seven dishes that when eaten together are supposed to create this amazing aphrodisiac effect.
Jim: You're personally testing this theory, are you?
Blair: Yeah, and it will not work without the grape leaves. (leaves)
Jim watches him go and shakes his head.
~Cut to Major Crimes. Night. Jim, Simon, and Joel walking down hallway.~
Simon: Where's your shadow?
Jim: Found something better to do.
Joel: Something better than staking out a strip joint? You know that place has women down there who wear nothing but thimbles. Not to mention the 5.95 special on roast beef.
Jim and Simon look at each other and start to smile.
Joel: Or, at least, that's what I heard. All I'm saying is, if you guys need an extra hand, I'm...
Jim: I think we got it covered.
Simon: Well, Jim, technically since Sandburg won't be there....
Jim: We are a man down, sir.
Joel: What time?
Joel: I'll clear my calendar. (laughs)
Jim chuckles. He and Simon walk into the bullpen.
Simon: So what's Sandburg got going anyway?
Jim: Oh, he's cooking dinner for some girl he just met. She's not too fond of cops.
Simon: That's all right. I don't like cops either.
They stop by the door of Simon's office.
Jim: There's something familiar about this one, though, like I've seen her somewhere before. I've just got a bad feeling about her.
Simon: Jim, you are taking this big brother thing with the kid way too far. You got to let him out on his own, let him make his own mistakes. He's got to fail once in a while. If anything else, it'll build character. God knows he needs it. (goes into his office)
Jim goes over to his desk, sits down, and calls up criminal records on his computer.
~Cut to loft. Night. Blair is putting some finishing touches on the dinner. The phone rings and he goes over to answer it.~
Iris: Blair, it's Iris. I'm sorry. I can't have dinner with you tonight.
Iris: (in a garage) Okay, I was parked in a handicapped zone, but it was only, like, five minutes.
Blair: Where are you?
Iris: I'm downtown at the Kelly Center Garage.
Blair: I'll come get you.
Iris: No, Blair, that's sweet, but I already ruined dinner, and...
Blair: Don't be silly. I'll be right there. (hangs up) Great. (turns off gas burners on the stove)
~Cut to Jim at his desk, still looking through criminal records. He finds a record for Iris.~
Jim: I knew it. Iris.
~Cut to Iris in the garage. Her cellphone rings and she answers it.~
Iris: Ah. Hello. Chance, no, I told you. Oh, yeah? When? Yeah. Actually, I could use the money. No. No matter how the deal goes down, we're not getting back together. Because. Because I'm already seeing somebody else, that's why. Hello? Chance?
Iris hangs up phone and it rings again a few moments later. She answers it.
Iris: Yeah. And you wonder why I left you. Yeah. I'll be there.
~Cut to Major Crimes. Simon's office. Jim, Simon, and Joel looking at Iris' record. Jim is on the phone.~
Simon: Will you look at this? Robbery, extortion, suspected drug trafficking, grand theft auto.
Jim: I got the machine.
Jim: (on machine) Leave a message and we'll call you back.
Jim: Sandburg, if you're there, pick up the phone. (pause) Okay, listen, I hope you're having fun, but when you're done with dinner, would you remember to count the silverware. (hangs up)
Simon: Why didn't you just tell him?
Jim: No, not on the phone. I mean, if she's listening, it might get ugly. And besides, what can happen in one night?
~Cut to Blair pulling into the garage. Iris comes over and gets in the car.~
Iris: Hi. Thank you so much. You're a lifesaver.
Blair: No problem. We'll go pick up your car and then go back to my place and eat.
Iris: I have to make a stop. Is that okay?
Blair: Uh, yeah. Yeah. I guess. Sure.
Iris: It'll only take a minute. I just have to stop by. A friend owes me some money. It's on the way.
Blair tries to go forward, but the car backfires and stalls out. Iris laughs.
Blair: This car gets a little temperamental. (works on starting the car again) There it goes. Okay. (car goes backwards) Oops, wrong way.
They take off.
~Cut to Heights Store, a convenience store. Still night. Blair pulls up and parks in front of the store.
Iris: Can you wait here? My friend gets a little weirded out at strangers. (gets out of car and heads into store)
Blair: Sure. No problem.
Another car pulls into the lot and parks on the other side of the lot, behind Blair. A man (Parkman) gets out and walks up to car, opening the passenger door and poking his head inside, startling Blair.
Parkman: Sorry, kid. I thought you were somebody else. (shuts the door and walks back to his car)
Blair: Easy on the car, man.
A man (Chance) walks out of the store on Blair's side of the car and heads back to Parkman's car. Blair watches him go by, then adjusts his rearview mirror to watch them.
Chance: Hey, Artie.
Iris walks out of the store, going over to the Volvo. Chance pulls a gun out and points it at Parkman.
Chance: The deal's a little different this time.
Iris: (opens door) Start the car.
Blair: Uh, yes, ma'am. (starts the car) You know, it works a little better if you're actually in the car.
Chance grabs the bag that Parkman has. The gun goes off as Parkman knocks it upwards.
Blair: Get in the car! (leans across the seat to grab Iris)
Iris: Relax, Blair! Relax!
Blair: The guy's got a gun!
Chance runs over and climbs into the back seat of the Volvo.
Blair: What are you...?! What are you doing?! What is going on? Hey, get out of my car!
Chance: Move! (points gun at Blair)
Blair: Calm down.
Chance: Move! Move!
Iris: (gets in car) Drive now!
Blair: Easy, easy. (starts backing the car up)
Iris: Drive. Drive now.
They tear out of the parking lot and speed off. Parkman watches them go.
~Cut to the Volvo. Chance is laughing.~
Chance: Yeah! You take a left onto 97 south.
Blair: Where we going?
Chance: Shut up and do what I tell you.
Blair: Iris, what is going on here?
Iris: Well, I should have told you, but we needed a ride and I didn't want you to freak out.
Blair: Well, I'm freaked out, so why don't you just tell me what's going on.
Iris: Chance just stole a half a million dollars in uncut heroin from a guy named Artie Parkman.
Blair: Oh, my god.
Chance: You got a problem with that?
Chance pokes the gun into Blair's side.
~~~~~~~~~~ Act II ~~~~~~~~~~
~Major Crimes. Day. Jim and Joel coming out of the elevator and walking down hallway. Both are laughing.~
Jim: Interesting night, huh?
Joel: It's the worst night I ever spent.
Jim: Too bad we got to do it again tonight.
Joel: Oh, yeah. I'll, uh, check my calendar. Right. (walks off)
Simon calls out to Jim from the Operations room.
Simon: Jim, can I see you a minute?
Jim walks over and follows Simon inside.
Simon: Go ahead. Run it.
Jim: What have we got?
A security video plays on a screen showing Iris in a convenience store walking up to someone with long hair.
Jim: Sandburg and Iris?
Simon: Last night at 10:00 p.m. We got a call of shots fired, convenience store on 6th. Both the shooter and the intended victim got away. Clerk saw the whole thing. Called 911. Rafe and Brown went over to check it out, came back with this.
Jim: This can't be Sandburg. He doesn't carry a gun.
Simon: You and I know that. But we also know he had a date with that girl and the clerk said he saw them both get into a green '68 Volvo. Now, how many of those can there be in Cascade? And one more strange thing.
Jim: What's that?
Simon: The clerk said he saw the girl get in the front passenger seat and the guy get in the back.
Jim: There's got to be a third person driving.
Simon: It makes sense.
Jim: Hold it right there. Back it up and freeze it.
Tape is backed up and froze on a shot of Iris and the guy in the store.
Jim: This guy uses his left hand to carry the gun. Sandburg's right-handed. Another thing, Sandburg doesn't own a jacket like that. I'm gonna give him a call.
Simon: Don't bother. I already tried him at home, the university, every place I could think of. He's not at his usual haunts. I did put out an APB on his Volvo, though.
~Cut to Heights Store. Day. Jim is talking to the store owner.
Jim: All right. Thanks very much. (walks over to join Simon) Simon. (to an officer) Excuse me for a second.
Officer: Yes, sir. (walks away)
Jim: Clerk says he saw some kind of scuffle. Bag was dropped. Long-haired guy picked it up and took off with it.
Simon: Jim, I swear, all we have here is illegal discharge of firearms.
They walk over to where Parkman's car had been parked.
Simon: Shooting took place around here. There was only one spent casing.
Jim: What is this? (crouches to look at something on the ground)
Jim: (tastes something, then spits it out) Heroin.
Jim: Maybe that's what was in the bag and in the scuffle it leaked.
Simon: Drug deal?
Jim: Yeah. Gone bad.
Simon: Maybe they took the heroin and used Sandburg's vehicle as a getaway.
Jim: He could still be with them.
~Cut to side of a country road. Still day. Chance is off the side of the road. Iris (on a cellphone) is sitting in the car, holding her gun on Blair, who is standing next to the car.~
Chance: Where'd you find that thing, a fire sale?
Blair: For your information, pal, this car happens to be a classic.
Chance: Classic piece of junk.
Iris: Okay, honey, I'll see you later. (hangs up) Rob says he can arrange the buy.
Chance: Did he say where he's been all night?
Blair: Who's Rob?
Iris: My big brother.
Blair: Well, isn't that beautiful? A family that steals together stays together, right?
Chance's cellphone rings and he walks a bit away from the two of them to answer it.
Parkman: (in his car) Question: just what the hell do you think you're doing?
Chance: I don't work for you anymore.
Parkman: Oh, really? Well, I'll tell you what. I work for people and they work for people. So, you try and dump that stuff and someone's going to know. In the circles we travel in, word gets around pretty quick.
Chance: Word's out on you, too, chump.
Parkman: (chuckling) Okay, tough guy. I guess the only way to clear this up is to deliver your head.
Chance: You're going to have to find it first. (hangs up) Let's roll! Get in.
They all get in the car and take off.
~Cut to Parkman. He is parked just on the other side of the convenience store and can see Simon. He lifts up a radio and can hear Simon's voice over it.~
Simon: Yeah. Let me know as soon as you can. Right.
~Cut to a bit later as they're driving down a road. Chance is driving. They pass a highway patrol car. Blair sees it and whips around to look at it as they pass. Officer checks the speed, then picks up a clipboard with the Volvo APB on it. He starts up the car and takes off after the Volvo. He also puts in a call over his radio.~
~Cut to Parkman listening in to the police band and hearing report.~
Officer: This is 285-Charley in pursuit of a 1968 green Volvo sedan. Request immediate backup.
~Cut to Simon and Jim, still at the Heights Store.~
Simon: Yeah. This is Banks. What? Great. Thanks. (to Jim) They just spotted Sandburg's car on 35.
Jim: Which direction?
Simon: East, near Blackwood.
Simon's phone rings again.
Jim takes off down the street.
~Cut to Volvo. Chance notices the patrol car (with lights flashing) behind them.~
Chance: Geez, where the hell did he come from?
Blair keeps gesturing behind them for the patrol car to hurry up.
Iris: Just keep driving. Go, go! Drive!
~Cut to Jim coming down road. Parkman follows in his car, unnoticed by Jim.
~Cut back to Volvo. They come up on an accident scene. A school bus has tipped over.~
Blair: What's going on up here? What are you doing? What are you doing, man?! It's a school bus, man. Slow down! L-look out! Look out!
Chance drives straight through the accident wreckage, laughing.
We got to stop. They're in trouble. Those people need our help! Turn around! Those are school kids!
Chance: You joking, man?
~Cut to accident scene. Patrol car has stopped and is talking into radio.~
Officer: This is 285-Charley arriving at the scene of an injury accident. We've got people injured. (to a man who comes over to him) You all right, buddy?
Jim pulls into the scene and screeches to a stop, getting out of his car to help.
Jim: I'm Detective Ellison. Cascade P.D.
Parkman drives through the accident scene and continues.
~Cut to Volvo, which is beginning to sputter and backfire.~
Iris: What the hell's going on? Chance? Come on, man. Get us out of here!
Car stalls out and stops.
Blair: Iris, all right, look. It's over, okay? You-you can't keep running You're just making it worse.
Chance: That's it! Get out of the car!
They all get out of the car. Chance comes around and grabs Blair, shoving him down the slope next to the road. Then he points his gun at Blair.
Chance: I don't like your attitude.
Iris: Whoa, whoa, whoa, we got enough trouble. We don't want to leave any dead bodies for the cops to find.
Blair: Th-that's... that's right, Chance. That's a good plan. You should listen to her, man.
Iris: Okay, come on. Come on.
They look down the road to see a car approaching them.
Chance: It's Parkman. It's Parkman! Let's go!
Chance and Iris get into the car and take off. Blair gets up. Parkman comes up next to Blair and stops, pointing his gun at Blair.
Parkman: Where are they going?
Blair: I don't know!
Parkman: Get in.
Blair: Look, why don't you just go after them?
Parkman: You were there last night, Sport. You saw my face. I don't get my stuff back, you don't get to live. Got it? Get in.
Blair gets in the car. Parkman takes off.
~Cut to accident scene. All the children are safe now and fire crews have arrived. Jim walks away from scene and stares down the road.~
~~~~~~~~~~ Act III ~~~~~~~~~~
~Major Crimes. Still day. Jim comes into Simon's office.~
Jim: Simon, what do you got?
Simon: Did some checking on our friend Iris. Take a look.
Jim: Anything we can use?
Simon: Iris was picked up last year in a drug trafficking case. The guy she was booked with was her brother. Name's Rob Johnson. Now the charges were eventually dropped for lack of evidence.
Jim: You think this guy Johnson's involved?
Simon: If heroin's what they were carrying that's what he suspected of dealing.
Jim: Says he's a mechanic out of a garage near Freemount.
Simon: Worth a look, don't you think?
~Cut to Rob's garage. Chance and Iris pull in.~
Rob: You know this car's a classic?
Iris: (getting out of car) Yeah. We've heard.
Rob: (opens hood) You think you can throw it into the deal?
Chance: Sure. (chuckling) Whatever you want.
Rob: (laughing) Oh, dude! Oh, she burns oil, huh?
Chance: Don't you want to see the stuff?
Rob: I'm just the middleman. Don't guarantee nothing. If the buyer thinks you're trying to sneak him some bad stuff, he'll whack you, not me. Uh-oh. Somebody evil's been messing around under here.
Iris: So, uh, what time do you think these guys are going to show up?
Rob: Uh, about an hour or two. They're getting the money together. There's a TV and some food in the house if you want to kick back.
Chance: Got a bed?
Rob: Got that, too.
Chance: Great. Hey, Iris...once around the park for old time's sake?
Iris sighs and looks away.
Chance: You come wake me up when you're...ready. (goes into house)
~Cut to Parkman pulling up to a deserted rest stop. He gets out of the car, then comes around and opens Blair's door. Blair gets out of car and Parkman shoves him against the side of the car.~
Blair: Hey, take it easy, take it easy.
Parkman: (cocks gun and holds it to Blair's throat) Where are they?
Blair: I've told you a hundred times, man.
Parkman: Three seconds.
Blair: Look, I swear to God I don't know!
Blair: Look, listen to me. I don't know!
Parkman: Two... one. (pulls trigger)
Blair jerks, but nothing happens.
Parkman lowers gun and chuckles. He loads in a clip and recocks gun. Blair is breathing hard.
Parkman: This time...it's for real. (holds gun at Blair) Where are they?
Blair: I could give you fake directions, but what good would that do either of us?
Parkman: (yelling) Where?!
Blair: I don't know.
Parkman: In there. (motions to single restroom)
~Cut to Blair walking into the graffiti-strewn restroom. Parkman walks in after him, shoving him further inside. Then Parkman goes back out, locking the door from the outside. Blair starts looking around inside. He bangs on the window with no luck.~
~Cut to Rob's garage. Rob is tinkering with the engine while Iris sits behind the wheel, revving the engine.~
Rob: Okay...ease up on the gas. Some guys have no right to call themselves mechanics. Shut it off.
Iris' cellphone rings and she answers it.
Iris: Yeah. Hello?
Parkman: (still at the rest stop) I'm at a rest stop on the Chelton Highway just west of the Middletown exit and I got your little friend with me.
~Cut to Blair inside restroom. He peeks through a crack in the door and can see and hear Parkman talking on the phone.~
Parkman: Now, if I don't get my merchandise back, I'm going to kill him. Got it?
~Cut back to Iris.~
Iris: Yeah, and what if I don't care?
Parkman: You are a piece of work, babe.
~Cut to Blair in restroom. He moves away from door to keep investigating. He bangs around with a trash can, then starts banging on the wooden frame of the mirror.~
~Cut back to phone conversation.~
Parkman: You know, you ought to be working with someone smarter than Chance.
Iris: (chuckles) Is that an invitation?
Rob comes over to listen to conversation with Iris.
Iris: Well, uh, I don't like smart men. I can't control them.
Parkman: Well, you'd hate me. Now, listen. I found you once and believe you me, I can find you again, but if you bring my merchandise to me voluntarily...
Iris: Yeah. I'm listening.
Parkman: I'll give you Chance's cut. Deal?
Rob takes phone and covers it.
Rob: Don't do it, man. You can't trust this guy.
Iris: Yeah, but I trust myself. Chance wasn't doing so bad with Parkman. He just...got greedy and screwed everything up. (takes phone back) Yeah. I'll be there in 15 minutes.
~Cut to rest stop. Parkman hangs up his phone. Inside restroom. Blair still banging away at one side of the wooden frame, loosening one board that has protruding nails. He finally gets it loose and goes over to stand near door. Parkman walks over to restroom and unlocks door. Then he pushes open door and steps inside. Blair brings the nailside of the board down on his arm, knocking the gun away. Then he steps out and shoves the hurting Parkman to the ground. Then Blair runs off, taking off down a train track. Parkman gets up and heads inside the restroom.~
~Cut to Rob's garage. Still day. No one else in evidence. Jim and Simon pull up in separate vehicles. Both get out and start to walk toward house. Jim stops and starts to smell something.~
Jim: Hang on a second.
Simon: What's up?
Jim: Sandburg's car. I can smell the burnt oil.
Simon: You sure?
Jim: It's the special synthetic stuff. It's unmistakable.
Simon: I'll check the house.
Jim: I'll check the garage. (goes into garage and looks around)
Simon comes in with Chance.
Simon: Hey, Jim? You'll never guess who I found.
Jim: That's the guy from the surveillance tape.
Chance: Hey, kook, I don't know what's going on here, man.
Jim: We were kinda wondering ourselves.
Chance: Well, I swear I'm not trying to put anything over you guys. I had the stuff. It was right here and then that bitch, she takes off on me, right?
Simon nods, looking very serious.
Chance: You guys -- you're the... you're the ones that-that Rob called, right?
Jim and Simon look at each and laugh.
Chance: You're here to buy the...stuff.
Simon shrugs and looks at Jim.
Jim: Where's Blair Sandburg?
Jim: I'm Jim Ellison. (pulls out his ID) I'm with the Cascade P.D. This is Captain Simon Banks.
Chance: Uh... (tries to run)
Simon: (catches him and shoves him back to the wall) You didn't answer the man's question.
Jim: Let's just try this again. Where's Blair Sandburg?
~Cut to Blair running through the fields. He reaches a road and tries to wave down a semi, which roars right by him.~
Blair: Whoa! No, no!
Rob and Iris pull up and stop next to him in the Volvo.
Rob: Great car, dude.
Iris gets out of passenger side and points gun at Blair over the roof of the car.
Iris: Get in the car, Blair.
~~~~~~~~~~ Act IV ~~~~~~~~~~
~Same continuing scene.~
Blair: What're you gonna do. You gonna shoot me? I don't think so.
Iris fires, the bullet going right next to Blair's head.
Blair: All right, so I was wrong. I'm coming. Relax. Calm down. (goes around and gets into the back seat of the car)
Iris gets in as well.
Rob: What do we need him for?
Iris: I just thought of a new plan and we need him to help us.
Blair: Oh, god.
Iris: It just occurred to me we were gonna tape the money to our bodies and smuggle it into Canada. Why don't we do the same with the heroin?
Rob: Cool, just like Billy Hayes in Midnight Express.
Rob and Iris laugh.
Blair: You guys are crazy. Billy Hayes spent eight years in a Turkish prison.
Rob: Well, we're not in Turkey now dude.
They take off.
Camera pans down road to see Parkman approaching. He stops for a moment, then follows the trail of smoke the Volvo is leaving.
~Cut to Rob's garage. Two officers are putting Chance into a car.~
Simon: The guy's still not talking. I'm sending him back to the station. Let Detective Adams have a crack at it.
Jim: Looks as if Sandburg's car is leaking oil as well. (touches a spot of oil on the ground)
Simon: I don't mean to put a damper on things, Jim, but this is a garage. There's oil everywhere.
Jim: No, trust me on this one, Captain. (sees the trail of oil with his sight) The drops are leaving a trail. Follow me! (heads off to his truck)
Simon: Thanks, guys. (heads off to his car)
Officer: You bet.
~Cut to train station. Rob parks the Volvo and they all get out. Iris puts the gun in her purse to hide it as she points it at Blair as he gets out of the car. Rob has the bag of drugs. They walk toward the train station building.~
Blair: All right, Iris...I got to tell you the truth about my friend Jim. He works for the city, all right, but not in road maintenance. He's a cop, all right? And actually, I'm his partner.
Iris: Yeah, nice try.
Blair: I'm serious. He's out there looking for me. There is no way you'll get away with this.
Rob: He's awful sincere, man.
Iris: Yeah, right.
~Cut to inside station.~
Rob: Now, what do we do?
Iris: Just stay calm. I'll figure it out. (sees a side door into a storage room) Over there. Come on.
~Cut to outside. Parkman pulls up and gets out, hiding his bandaged arm under his coat.~
~Cut to inside. The three of them stop a moment, then Iris pushes them closer to the door.~
Iris: All right, go. Go!
They go inside the door labeled "Employees Only."
~Cut back to main part of building. Parkman walks inside, looking around for them.~
~Cut to inside storage room. Rob is taking off his shirt.~
Rob: Let's go, man.
Iris: (plays with the buttons on Blair's shirt) Yeah. Come on, Blair. I thought you were dying to get naked with me.
Blair: (starts unbuttoning his shirt) It's not exactly what I had in mind.
Iris: Yeah, well, you got to take what you can get.
~Cut to main room. Parkman is still looking.~
~Cut back to storage room. Blair, with drugs taped on him, is buttoning up his shirt. Rob is pulling his tank top down over the cocaine taped to his lower stomach, which makes him look pregnant.~
Rob: Great idea.
Iris: Yeah, well, we'll just have to repackage it.
Rob: Repackage it, how?
Iris looks around room, then grabs a bunch of plastic bags.
Iris: Um...here. (switches gun to her other hand and helps Rob rip the tape off)
Rob: Ow! Ow! Ow.
Iris: Don't be such a baby.
Blair attacks and grabs the gun from Iris, then knocks out Rob with one bunch. He holds the gun on Iris and pauses a moment to take a breath.
Blair: Okay... um... you take the tape and you tape up your brother. All right? And then you take the rest of the heroin and you put it in the bag. Get this stuff off me. (starts pulling off tape)
~Cut to Iris and Blair leaving the storage room. All the drugs are in the bag which Blair has over his shoulder. He looks at the gun in his hands, then stuffs it in the back of his pants. They start walking into main room.~
Iris: We split everything three ways...everything.
Blair: (laughing) I'm not into threesomes.
Iris: Ooh, come on, baby, don't knock it till you've tried it.
Blair: Yeah, whatever. (laughing) Come on. (grabs her arm)
Blair: This way. Quit whining.
Parkman comes up behind them and holds his gun between them.
Parkman: Hey, Sport, it's your unlucky day. (takes bag) This is mine, isn't it?
Parkman: (finds gun and takes it) What's this? Go. Move. Move.
~~~~~~~~~~ Act V ~~~~~~~~~~
~Outside train station. Still day. Jim and Simon pulling up in their vehicles and they both get out.~
Simon: What the hell is going on, Jim?! What are we doing here?!
Jim: Simon, that's Sandburg's car. I'm assuming they're planning to get on a train here.
Simon: All right, I'll get on the horn, call for backup.
~Cut to Parkman, Iris, and Blair leaving the station through a side exit.~
Iris: You're never going to get the drugs through customs by yourself. We'll have to go with my original plan.
Parkman: Which is?
Iris: We tape the heroin to our bodies, smuggle it across the border, and when we get there, my brother's got the connections to unload it quickly.
They stop on the sidewalk.
Parkman: I've got my own contacts. Why should I risk bringing in your brother?
Iris: Because if anything happens to Rob, I'd be very sad. And that would mean you wouldn't have the opportunity to get to know me better, which I'll bet is something you'd like to do. (holds onto Parkman's arm)
Parkman: Yeah, maybe. What about him? (motions to Blair)
Iris: (shrugs) He's your call.
Blair is standing in front of both of them and holding up his hands.
~Cut to Jim and Simon. Simon is on the phone. Jim takes a few steps away, hearing Blair's voice and tuning into it.~
Blair: Look, Parkman, this is crazy, man. You'll never get out of here with those drugs. You might as well just throw them away.
Parkman: Yeah? Says who?
Jim: Simon, I got to go. (runs off)
Simon: What are you doing?! Damn it, Jim!
~Cut to Parkman.~
Parkman: Moment of truth, babe. (hands her a gun) Do it.
Blair backs up, hands still in the air, as he steps off the sidewalk. Down a ways, Jim steps around the corner, gun out.
Iris: Such a waste. (raises gun)
Jim zooms in and shoots the gun from Iris' hand. Parkman fires a few times at Jim, then takes off. Iris grabs the bag of drugs and runs off another way. Jim runs up to stand next to Blair, touching his arm.
Blair: Oh, god, what...? Glad to see you.
Jim: Yeah, me, too. We're not done here yet, Chief. And, Sandburg, when you find her, forget about the seven-course meals.
Jim takes off after Parkman, chasing him through the train station.
~Cut to Blair seeing Iris and following her to parking lot.~
~Cut to Jim chasing Parkman. He stops near a train car and listens, hearing footsteps inside. Jim walks along outside of train car. He hears a gun cocking and looks up to see Parkman aiming his gun at him. He ducks as the gun is fired and rolls underneath the train car. Parkman keeps going through car. Jim gets up, but doesn't see anyone. He goes inside car. Parkman fires at him, but misses. Parkman turns and runs down car. Jim chases after him through several cars. More gunfire exchanged.~
~Cut back to Blair, still following Iris. Iris goes to the Volvo. Blair watches her open the trunk.~
~Cut back to Jim. Jim almost catches up to him. Parkman raises his gun to fire. Jim kicks the gun away from him. Parkman shoves a door at Jim, breaking the glass, then runs. Jim goes after him. They enter a kitchen car. Parkman starts dumping things on the ground.~
Cook: Hey, what are you doing?
Parkman runs down and grabs cook and uses cook as a shield as Jim comes in. Parkman fires at Jim several times. Parkman shoves cook away and runs through the next car, the dining car, knocking a man into one of the tables. Jim goes after him, taking a moment to say something to the cook in passing.~
Jim: You okay?
Cook: Yeah, yeah.
Parkman locks himself into a luggage car. Jim comes through the dining car.
Jim: Sorry about that, sir.
Parkman realizes his gun is empty and throws it down. Jim opens the door to the luggage car, only to find a chain holding it locked. Parkman gets on a motorbike and zooms out of the car. Jim shoots the chain off. Jim gets on the other motorbike and chases after Parkman as they zoom down the sidewalk next to the train. Jim pulls up next to Parkman just as Parkman hits a pile of luggage and loses control of the bike. He falls to the ground. Jim goes over to him.
~Cut to Blair walking up behind Iris as she opens trunk and puts the bag inside. He taps her on the shoulder. She turns and sees him. Blair looks at her, then at the open trunk, then back at her. He smiles and bounces a bit.
~Cut to a bit later outside the train station. Two officers are putting Parkman in a car. Simon and Jim watch.~
Simon: So who is this putz anyway?
Jim: His name is Artie Parkman. Would that mean anything to you?
Simon: Does now.
Blair drives up in his car, grinning at them over the top of his sunglasses. Jim and Simon walk up to him.
Blair: Hey, Simon, Jim, what's up?
Simon: So where's your girlfriend?
Blair: (gets out of car) Hey, you guys are going to love this. (chuckling; goes to trunk and opens it) You see, my mom always taught me to put things back where I found them.
Iris is inside. She sits up and looks at them. Jim and Simon look at each other, then back at Iris. The three men laugh.
~Cut to loft. Night. Simon, Joel, and Jim at the table eating the dinner Blair had made for he and Iris. Blair is sitting on the back of the couch, strumming on the guitar.~
Joel: Blair, you've outdone yourself this time, buddy. This stuff is great. There's only one problem. Um, I'm not getting turned on, man.
Blair: Ha, ha, ha. Very funny, very funny. It's almost as funny as being in lockup for four hours.
Simon: You were in my office the entire time watching TV.
Blair: I got booked, I got fingerprinted, I got photographed. Do you know how humiliating that is?
Jim: It's just procedure, Chief. You had a half a million dollars' worth of smack in the trunk of your car. Lucky for you, Iris was more interested in putting Parkman and Chance away than having her revenge on you.
Simon: (laughs) If she hadn't corroborated your story right now, you'd be in a place with sweaty guys and no TV.
Jim: Where they'd take away your guitar strings.
Blair: (walks into kitchen) Anything but that. You know, I should stay in touch with her. I mean, she's still pretty young, you know. (walks back to table) What she needs is a positive influence in her life. (hands a plate to Jim) Here's some dessert. A role model. People change, you know? (goes back to couch)
Jim: Why don't you do yourself a favor, Romeo. Get some therapy.
Simon laughs. They all take some dessert and eat it.
Jim: It's not bad.
Joel: It's the best of all.
Simon: What is it?
Blair: Well, actually, I take some dates, I put them in water till they get really nice and moist, then add lemon juice and sugar, then I stick this underneath the sink for a few weeks and let it get real moldy. You know when fur starts growing on it? Stick it into a blender, put maple syrup on it. There you go.
Simon, Joel, and Jim all look at each other, then reach for their drinks as Blair strums some more on the guitar.
~ The End ~
As Good as She (lyrics)
A voice cracks
It twists and turns me in a way I can't explain
Call it jealousy
Call it an act of faith
In my belief in me
It doesn't really matter
(chorus) I only hoped to be as good as she
Even though I'm not supposed to compare
I only hoped to be as good as she
Even though I'm not supposed to compare
I am dancing in her shadow
I am playing in her light
I am making her guess at every left and right
I am closer than she thinks
I crawl inside her head
To feel the way her blood boils
The memories that she's had
I am two steps ahead as she falls behind
I stand back and capture the diamonds that she finds
I come out at night like a slowly creeping mist
I wanna do wrong, I wanna do right
It's revenge that I kiss
(spoken) It doesn't really matter
It doesn't really matter
It doesn't really matter
Not supposed to compare
It doesn't really matter
It doesn't really matter
I'm not supposed to compare
It doesn't really matter